NINETY-SEVEN MILLION US DOLLARS VALUED PIZZA STORED IN THE LOWER LEVELS OF THE DOW JONES NEWS CORP HEADQUARTERS, PLAINS BOROUGH

SILENCE IS GOLDEN

SILENT ALARM NOTIFIED KEY PERSONNEL AT THE DOW JONES THAT THE PIZZA HAD EXPIRED. ONE US MARINE PRESENT STATED THEY IN ALL LIKELIHOOD PASSED IN A MERCIFUL MANNER, SUFFERING FOR NO LESS THAN THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES BEFORE DYING OF ASPHYXIATION.

RABNER PISSES HIMSELF

THE AWFUL FUCKING TRUTH: CAUTION BELOW

 
[LONG SINCE REDACTED]