THE 34TH DAY T MINUS FIVE FIVE: THIRTY-NINE BODIES RECOVERED IN ESSEX LORRY CREDIBLY BOUND FROM BULGARIA, DEVELOPING STORY

ARCHIVED BEEB

UPDATE, THIRTY-NINE DECEASED ALLEGEDLY CHINESE NATIONALS.

TWO ONE ENGLAND WINS, ON TRACK TO WIN GOLD, FILTHY BERBERS DISPATCHED BACK TO DESERT

LIVE POSTING TO CONTINUE UNTIL CARTHAGE RAZED

UPDATE 1437 EST, TREACHERY, ONE ONE

UPDATE 1434* EST, BRIT BONG COMMENTATOR CLAIMS DE-STALINZATION PROGRAMS ONGOING, COMMIES BTFO, DETAILS TO FOLLOW

UPDATE 1444 EST, WEW LAD

UPDATE 1600 EST, BIG GUY KANE BERBER BANE, ONE LEFT IN THE WRECKAGE, ALBION MARCHES ON

CANT INDEED

UPDATE 1632 EST, TATERS TAKE TO STREETS, RIOTS AND OTHER SUCH UNPLEASANTNESS FOLLOWING FROM INADEQUATE VITAMINS, LAKE OF SUNLIGHT AND DESPAIR AT ENGLISH VICTORY, AS BELOW,

TATERS RIOTING IN PROTEST

UPDATE 1635, PROPHECY OF THE FOUR SIX HATH BEEN HEARD AND THE GAUNTLET LAY BEFORE US, AS BELOW,

QUADS HATH SPOKEN

LEST WE FORGET, PRAISE KEK, THE PROPHECY OF INFINITE SEVENS, A REMINDER BELOW,

CLOCKWORK