HAPPENING WATCH CONTINUES, DAY FIVE, FOUR JULY TWO-THOUSAND NINETEEN

FIRST. BASED BRITS, SALTY COMMIES, GUARDIAN ARCHIVE.

TWO. BRITS AND GIBRALTARIAN POLICE SECURE ‘IRANIAN’ OIL TANKER, THE REAL REASON FOR WHICH NOT EXACTLY CLEAR AT THE PRESENT TIME, EVENING STANDARD ARCHIVE.

THREE. AIRCRAFT CARRIER* QUEEN ELIZABETH AND FULLY ARMED BATTLEGROUP ALLEGEDLY EN ROUTE TO HONK KONG, ALL KNOWN LINKS SCRUBBED FROM THE INTERNET. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

FOUR. HELLO, APOCALYPSE HERE, ARE YOU FREE LATER? WHAT ABOUT NOW?

DATELINE HONG KONG

PARLIAMENT STORMED, COMMIES BEAT THE FUCK OUT

“PORCELLO” REMOVES AN EMAIL AT ROOT LEVEL DOT CH

THE OTHER PORCELLO

HEARD SOME TIME AGO READING ALOUD MY EMAIL TO THE [REDACTED].

THE SAME MALE INDIVIDUAL DID EVADE CAPTURE IN AFGHANISTAN IN TWO-THOUSAND AND FIVE.

LAST KNOWN WHEREABOUTS UNDERHILL IN THE CONFEDERATION OF HELVETICA.

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